Talking to parents…
You know, when you’re a guy – there are some very nerve-wracking moments in life. The first time you talk to a girl (post childhood) who you are interested in. The first time you ask a girl out. That first kiss and then really every first kiss you ever have for the rest of your life. There’s that first time you ever step onto a sports field. The first time you think you just might win a race. The first time you interview for a job and the first time you step up in front of an audience and speak. Hundreds of different firsts, some that guys only experience and some that both sexes experience, but nothing compares for a good case of nerves than the first time you talk to the father of the girl you want to marry.
This past week, Wednesday in fact, I had that first…over the weekend, I’d asked my bride-to-be’s father if I could speak to him about her. He looked at me with a knowing glint in his eye and said sure. He was really nice about it but I fully admitted to him at that moment that I was nervous. I’ve always believed, for better or for worse, that being up front about what I’m thinking beats trying to hide it. That’s just me being me, and I can’t be anything other than genuine, but I had a moment’s doubt about whether I should be telling her dad that I was nervous. Ah well – it was out there… So, we agreed to speak this past week and figure out a time. That was Saturday…Sunday he and I talked and agreed to meet up after work on Wednesday.
Wednesday couldn’t really come soon enough – seriously. One of the harder parts, about waiting to meet someone to talk to them about their daughter, is thinking about what you are going to say and what they might ask you. My fiancée to-be and I talked about this pretty much at least for a few minutes every single day between Saturday and Wednesday. Even on Wednesday, immediately before meeting with her dad, she and I were talking about it and without a doubt, she gave me excellent suggestions. Still – that moment comes – when you leave to meet a guy about his daughter – then it’s just you.
So, we met at a restaurant close by and we happened to get there at exactly the same time. We grabbed a table and some calamari. It was a long conversation – we talked about a lot of different things – sometimes innocuous things like how things were going for his company, sometimes random things like why Microsoft decided that buying Skype made any sense at all, and of course more often than not, my life, how I feel about his daughter, what our future is going to be like and whether we have done the things we should – to prepared for it. Just like that sentence, it was a lot to talk about. He gave me some of his own thoughts on his amazing daughter, and complimented her for being an amazing girl while making sure I understood some of her quirks as well. I’m pretty sure she would tell you and I’m certain that I’d tell you as well – parents always have a way of talking about the things that embarrass us or make us uncomfortable. At the same time, I appreciate that he took the time and invested the thoughts he did in being a dad and making sure that he understood the guy who wants to marry his daughter. He was frank in saying that she was the person who really had to make her decisions, but he expressed his appreciation that I took the time to talk to him and in his own way, I feel like he gave me his blessing.
At the end of our discussion – we walked outside and said our goodbyes. I feel good about the way things went, and in the end, although it was nerve-wracking and I was uncomfortable in the hot seat – I wouldn’t have had it go any other way at all. My fiancée to-be is worth it…
One last thing – just so you know – it’s not quite over yet – I’m waiting for the opportunity to talk to her Mom too… I’ll let you know how it goes.
Soccer – is it life?
There is a book out there called “How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization” – I think it’s interesting that
this book even exists in the first place. Did you know that according to Answers.com, over 200 countries play soccer? This is interesting given that there are supposedly only 195 countries in the world – also according to Answers.com.
If you ask the players of Street Soccer – soccer can definitely be life. I understand how they feel – when everything else is complicated – when life isn’t exactly where you want it to be – the field is there – waiting – your friends are there – waiting – the ball is there – waiting. I can’t say that I understand the experiences of the players – but I do understand what it feels to stand – on a side – with a team – watching – waiting – and then it starts… And for those 90 minutes – nothing else in the entire world matters.
Street Soccer USA, founded in 2005 according to CNN, by Lawrence Cann, is a national non-profit organization that promotes, advocates, and utilizes the power of soccer as a vehicle for intervention, education and empowerment among homeless teens, men and women living in the United States. Today, with over 20 teams across the country participating, Street Soccer affects the lives of hundreds of people across the country. Giving a chance to people like myself to support something I love and at the same time support an opportunity for dignity, confidence, hope, opportunity and self-esteem for people who are just looking for a chance – this is something I’m passionate about. This video sums it up for me: http://www.iplayfor.org/.
Join me and hundreds of other Washingtonians in supporting Street Soccer USA at the 2011 National Open Cup (http://www.streetsoccerusa.org/register/2011-national-open-cup) and come support the Sport for Social Change Awards Celebration (http://www.eventbrite.com/event/1196064461) at the French Embassy in Washington, DC.
Soccer is life…for men, women and children across the country – help them help themselves…
While it may be funny to do disgusting things (when you are a guy) around your significant other, bear in mind that she may actually pass out depending on what it is that you do…Example – don’t dutch oven her…seriously…don’t do that…
Just another thought for the day from a guy to other guys…(about things not to do)
Appreciate your other half. Every day. Always. No Seriously – always. Best idea ever. That and Reese’s Cups. Another best idea ever.
Kinda choppy but…
1 thought for today – number two (#2)
Short and sweet and to the point – you never want to be a software developer. Ok, maybe you do, but I’m not sure I want to. Just when you think you have something figured out, it turns out you don’t. It’s always a series of ups and downs. And man, when there’s a downer, you get melllllllow. Anyway…
1 thought for today – take it however you like.
It’s been a long time since I wrote anything like the following – and moreover – it’s been a long time since I felt this way. What way you ask? Alright – I’ll say it – “over the moon” about a person. You know how it is – you feel like you’ve known them forever – you think of them day after day. You start counting the moments until you see them next. Truly it feels kinda painful when they aren’t around. Over the moon, definitely…
So how did this happen? Well, the story begins sometime early this year – although, there was perhaps some foreshadowing last year as well. At some point, in the beginning of this year, possibly even the end of last year – I added someone on Facebook. Her name? She knows who she is… 😉 I can’t tell you what prompted the initial addition. Maybe it was that we worked in a similar industry – maybe it was that she was friends with many of my friends and I kept seeing her show up on that “do you know this person” page – in the end, I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure I’d been to events that she hosted for business and that I’d even heard her speak before. Maybe it was just Karma smiling down on me.
Anyway- whatever the reason, I added her, and whatever the reason, she accepted. And that’s how it began…
The first time we met in person knowingly didn’t happen until February. I went to a charity fundraiser to support one of my friends who was raising money for the Washington Humane Society. At the time I was sort of seeing someone and she was as well. I remember seeing one of our mutual friends there in a surprise and spending some time talking to her. The person I was seeing at that moment worked as a journalist and Kerry, the mutual friend, was looking at getting into more writing. I ran around the corner to find Kerry when my date arrived and at the time Kerry was busy speaking with her and several other people. At first I didn’t recognize her, but after Kerry made the introduction it all came clear in a rush. The feeling was instant – I sorta caught my breath. I knew that she was with someone but I sure wished that she wasn’t. I made her promise to meet me for lunch – really at the time thinking that I’d make a cool new friend – I’m not one for interfering in other people’s relationships truth be told. We talked a little bit more and left off at that. I’ll be the first to admit that she was kinda stuck in my head though.
Several months went by from that point – for a while I was pretty persistent about trying to pin down a time for lunch, but we were both busy and the opportunity just really didn’t present itself. But then – Karma struck again.
I really don’t spend a whole lot of time reading Facebook status updates – it takes a lot of time – I really only have time to look at Facebook and other social media sites infrequently during most days. I rarely look at it at night – but for whatever reason, the first week of July I was paying more attention than usual to Facebook. Looking down at a few posts, I saw it – she had changed her status to “Single”. It really didn’t take more than a few moments after I saw the information than that I dashed off a quick email reminding her about our long awaited lunch.
She sat on my email for a couple days, but she finally agreed to meet me for lunch on July 15th, a Thursday. I quickly accepted her offer and we were set finally to sit down with one another.
A couple days later, Karma struck again! At this point, I was starting to wonder what exactly Karma had in mind, but not being a person to stare a gift horse in the mouth – I seized what opportunity and Karma put in front of me. She wrote me a response while I was at an art event in the city. She put her phone number in the response and I texted her immediately. She let me know that she was actually free to meet me on Saturday the 10th for brunch and I texted her back accepting and talking thru some of the details. She asked if I was free to call her and talk about it – I jumped at the chance.
That first playful conversation has become the hallmark of every day of our relationship. It was full of playful banter, teasing, warmth, laughter – everything you think of when you just feel completely comfortable with someone. Honestly – we could probably have talked to one another for hours even that very first night. Flirting with her just comes naturally – it’s part of how we connect – it’s a constant current running through our every moment with one another – and – it’s a reflection of how much we are always in each other’s head. There is a running excitement in every moment we are communicating with, spending time with and thinking of one another.
I’ll be honest – like I said in the beginning – I’m not sure how it happened, but I am sure of where it’s going – and I enjoy every single day of it. I owe Karma one hell of a Christmas card this year, and probably more than a few gifts, beverages and shout-outs. Like I said- I’m over the moon for this girl and I’m pretty determined to spend every single day possible with her. She’s the best girl I’ve ever met and the one that I’d do anything for…and given the chance – the last girl I’ll ever date and the one I’ve always been waiting for.
Thanks again Karma – sometimes you and I both- just know…
That’s not really the point of this post – actually this is really more about relationships and finding one that makes sense – but for people who want the Ninja video here it is: . Ok, now that we’ve covered that…
The next time you’re trying to figure out what’s up with dating write yourself four columns on a sheet of paper named “Would Like”, “Must Have”, “Don’t Want”, “Can’t Stand”. Once you’ve got your column names, under each column write down the traits and characteristics that you like and dislike in your preferred sex according to the strength of your dislike or like (appropriate column). The results can be enlightening and you might find arrows pointing you in a new direction from the one you’ve been following…
1 thought for today
So my thought of the day – well I mean – it’s really a few days old – but still true nonetheless: Jealousy is for the Unambitious. Not trying to be mean to anyone here, but truly – the next time you are confronted by someone who is jealous of your achievements, lifestyle, opportunities, advantages, etc – ask yourself – why is anyone jealous of me – ultimately all of these things are things that can be attained by anyone in this country. The United States is the land of “opportunity” not the land of “entitlement”. I think this is a crucial differentiator. Opportunity does not imply that everyone just gets to have all their wishes granted without effort or reason. It does imply that all of us can achieve what we want most if we put the effort out their to attain it.
my thought for today…
Here’s some food for thoughts on this thanksgiving weekend – what are 5 books that can help you think about the company you work for, whether it’s headed the right direction and whether your direction and your company’s direction are the same:
- The Innovator’s Dilemma – Clayton Christensen – Clayton Christensen in 1997 published one of the defining books on the subject of innovation. More to the point thought, this book speaks volumes to understanding one of Warren Buffet’s favorite concepts – enduring value – or the lack thereof that most firms in the world experience. Any study of the past will reveal that the Fortune 500 has experienced tumultuous change over it’s history. There are very few companies that have established long term enduring value over the past 50 years and the “Innovator’s Dilemma” goes a long way toward explaining why.
- The Medici Effect – Frans Johansson – 2004 brought about the publication of arguably the best available book on the topic of creating innovation combinations. By bringing together diversity of thought, experience and learning – Frans suggests that organizations of any type may be able to create more ideas and more disruptive inventive ideas. Drawing on anecdotes from the past and the present, “The Medici Effect”, demonstrates how organizations and individuals can increase creativity and innovation in a practical way. Why does this matter? – if the Innovator’s Dilemma speaks to the challenges of long term enduring value and the difficulty of successful innovation, then “The Medici Effect” offers a possible partial solution.
- Warren Buffett and the Interpretation of Financial Statements – Mary Buffett & David Clark – published in 2008, this book may not be the most exciting book you will ever read, however it may be one of the best books toward providing an explanation of the mindset of Warren Buffett’s purchases over the past couple decades. Why does Warren Buffett, one of the wealthiest individuals in the world, make the decisions he makes when deciding to purchase a business. Can this same philosophy inform your and my investing decisions?
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki & Sharon Lechter – also published in 1997, Rich Dad, Poor Dad provides an anecdotal point of view stressing financial literacy. While the book makes for an interesting story, the point that Kiyosaki strives to make is that individuals should take the time to understand what their financial goals are. Why is this important for your business? Rich Dad, Poor Dad provides examples of different points of view on individual business and investment decisions – for the business owner, thinking through how employees consume risk is essential to understanding how they will consume risk in the business – for the individual, understanding what personal risk tolerance is about should drive decisions about which organizations to work for, find companies who’s risk matrix matches your own.
- Strategy Safari – Henry Mintzberg, Bruce Ahlstrand & Joe Lampel – published in 1998, Strategy Safari is about how businesses approach their strategy making process. True to the title, Mintzberg and company describe the various schools of strategy development as well as the larger context of how different strategies impact organizational behavior. A critical review of the identified schools of strategy is included in each segment describing both pros and cons. So, now that you know what your company is up to, it becomes possible to understand whether or not the company is aligning the right strategic management approach to the right point in it’s lifecycle.
What this list really provides is a set of tools for evaluating the organization you work for today and deciding who you should be working for tomorrow. To break it down in a series of questions:
- Does your organization have a strategy?
- Is the organization growing or receding?
- Does the strategy fit the circumstances? (Is the world in a period of stability or a period of instability at this time?)
- Does the organization support the strategy?
- Can the organization, it’s people, the leadership and it’s management consume the risks and rewards contained in the strategy?
- Does the organization have enduring value or does the organization support a culture of continuing innovation?
- Has the organization forged a path that recognizes the value of reinvention and can that reinvention be consumed by the business model?
- Is the direction of the organization consistent with your personal direction?
- Does the organization’s consumption of risk match your consumption of risk?
Happy thanksgiving everyone!
Focus is really actually about exactly 1 thought – no seriously…
So here’s the thing – we all do it – we all take on more than we can bite off – whether it has to do with planning to see all of our friends over a holiday, taking on too much work at work, joining too many teams, starting too many projects, reading too many books, etc etc etc. So the thought for today is Focus…
I mean – yes, you can argue that having all that going on keeps us busy, keeps us on track, etc – and who hasn’t heard the saying “If you want something done, give it to a busy person” – but really – Focus – get something done, look at what comes next, Focus again, get that done…
Plus – you want something that makes you feel great – getting something done works like no other, but until we Focus it’s really hard to do that.
BTW – you might ask why this comes up – let me just say that starting up a business might have something to do with it…more on that later.
What with Inflation, thoughts now cost 12 cents! 